Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants to feel as if they are important, and everyone wants to feel as if their ideas will be actually heard and understood. Well, there are some basic things to remember when trying to make you likable and presenting your thoughts and ideas to others.

Making friends - To make a friend, is a friend first

1. The first thing to remember is not to be overly critical of people you come into contact with. Criticizing someone, even if you think that it is constructive or warranted, is not the best way to begin a relationship. Instead of criticism, try to be positive about whatever the person has done.
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2. Show an interest in other people. When you remember details such as their birthday, anniversary, or other important dates in their live, it shows that you are truly interested in them.

3. Do some research and talk about the other person’s interest. If you don’t know what they are interested in, take time to find out.

4. Offer your friends your undivided attention when they are talking to you. Nothing is more annoying then thinking that your friend is pretending to listen to you, or openly ignoring you when you are trying to talk to you.

5. Let your friend know that you appreciate them and their friendship. Too often people don’t realize how much they mean to us because we don’t tell them often enough. When they get a promotion or are recognized for their achievements, make certain you congratulate them and tell them how proud you are of them.

6. Take time to learn names and use them. That shows that you respect a person enough to remember their name.

7. Smile at people. Greet them with a smile. Did you know that you can tell when someone’s smiling on the telephone? It’s true! Try it sometime.

Selling your ideas to people

1. Avoid arguments, because no matter who wins, someone loses and that can lead to hurt feelings. Welcome the disagreement, tell the person that you are thankful for their opinion, stay rational and calm, listen to everyone, find where people agree, admit when you are wrong, and if everyone can’t come to an agreement, postpone further discussion.

2. Be friendly with everyone, and let your tone be open and friendly. This will help people to be more open to you. When talking to someone one on one, be sure to let the other person do a lot of the talking. This shows that you are willing to listen.

3. Be sympathetic and let other peoples know that you understand how they feel. People like to know that someone understands and cares about their feelings.

4. Respect the opinions of others, and never say that they are wrong, even if you disagree. If you are the person who is wrong, admit it and people who were ready to criticize you make back off. They’ll respect you for admitting it.

5. Put a great deal of emphasis on things that others agree on. This will gain you acceptance more quickly.

6. When possible, use visual aids. You look like you know what you are talking about and people are more accepting when they can actually see proof, such as a graft or a chart.

7. Make others feel as if the idea is theirs. People are more willing to go along with an idea if they think that they came up with it instead of someone else. Make suggestions which lead people to come to the desired conclusion.

8. Use your idea to appeal to ideals, something that everyone believes in: integrity, a mother’s love, personal character, etc.

9. Give people things that challenge their capabilities, and encourage friendly competition between coworkers.

Driving improvement and giving criticism in leadership positions

1. Instead of putting emphasis on the negative right away, start out with praise and appreciation for what has gone right. Before criticizing someone, talk about things that they have done well first. It will make the criticism easier to take.

2. Admit to your own shortcomings before criticizing someone else. It’s easier to be criticized when you know that someone else has made similar mistakes.

3. Instead of criticizing someone openly, look for alternatives to their ideas. Never suggest that an idea isn’t good, suggest that there might be a better alternative for that particular situation, but it’s a good idea to consider in the future.

4. Don’t embarrass people by criticizing them in public. Take it to them privately, allowing them to save face and showing that you care about their feelings.

5. Don’t make people think that the fault is something that can’t be corrected. When someone improves, even slightly, tell them that you appreciate what they are doing to make them better, and praise them for it.

6. Instead of making people feel like you are telling them to do something, make suggestions for what you want them to do in the form of a question. This makes them feel less like they are being bossed around and more like you value their opinion.

7. People like to feel important. When you are assigning tasks, it doesn’t hurt to give someone a title. Even if it is meaningless to you, it makes them feel important and gives them motivation.

In conclusion, when you are trying to get people to do what you want to do, think about how you have been treated by a former employer and how they treated you. Did they treat you with respect, or make you feel like dirt? Treat others the way you would want to be treated and you will get the results you are looking for.