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A Comprehensive Guide to Signs an Emotionally Unavailable Man is in Love With You

Dealing with an emotionally unavailable man can be challenging for a girl with an expressive personality who loves to speak her thoughts and feelings. It is because such guys might be great to hang around with and have casual coffee dates, but when it comes to going beyond the surface-level connections and making deeper intimate relationships, he can keep you at arm’s length. You can only just look for signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you because they don’t open up about their feelings that easily.

We all are scarred to some extent. But we don’t cope with traumas in the same way. Some people suppress their feelings, build walls around their hearts, conceal themselves, and constantly fight their inner turmoil. These are called emotionally unavailable men – who fear to commit a relationship with one woman.

You must have these sorts of guys in your circle who are tall and love short girls but cannot express how they feel. And you must think, can an emotionally unavailable man fall in love? Well, since he cannot express his feelings and build lasting connections by himself, you can spot some signs that he loves you.

Signs an Emotionally Unavailable Man Feels Attracted to You

As these types of guys are not connected with their emotions that much, so there are some subtle (yet strong, if you closely pay attention) signs that an emotionally unavailable man likes you or feels attracted to you in the initial stages.

1. He pays attention to you

Though an emotionally unavailable man seems distant or unbothered, he might start showing genuine interest in your life. Whether it’s deep conversations with you at night or remembering random details about yourself, you would know when he’s paying genuine attention. This shift in his behavior reflects his willingness to open up and establish a deeper connection.

2. He talks about his past – which is so not of him

When someone is emotionally unavailable, it is usually because of their past trauma. So opening up about their past may not be their favorite. This is why a significant sign of emotional change is when he shares his past experiences.

Emotional detachment often prevents him from sharing personal stories. However, if he’s in love, he may share moments and vulnerabilities he wouldn’t typically reveal.

It might be a little thing like his favorite memory from high school or a deeper past trauma. Let him open up at his pace, and do not pressure a broken person to share everything with you at once.

3. He shows and talks about his emotions and feelings

For someone emotionally distant, expressing emotions can be difficult. If he has become more comfortable discussing his feelings and emotions, it’s a sign an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.

Of course, you can’t expect an emotionally unavailable guy to sing songs for you or confess to you in front of hundreds of people.

But if he genuinely loves you, you would notice him having his heart on his sleeves at least a few times. This newfound willingness to be vulnerable is a strong indicator of his emotional investment.

4. He makes an effort to be close to you and initiate conversations

Emotionally unavailable men tend to keep a distance. Their past experiences might have conditioned them to not open up to someone and stay closed off. But love can help them cross that bridge!

If your man truly loves you, you will notice him finding ways to be close to you, spend time with you, and start conversations with you. He does not need to be clingy or overly expressive. Subtle actions about wanting to be with you and being happy around you are enough to make the deduction.

5. He remembers little things about you

When a man remembers little things about you, it means he can’t keep you out of his mind (or heart!). While he might not be interested in your office drama, he will notice and remember little details about you.

Your shoe size, your favorite movie, the chocolate cookie that makes you happy, or your coffee order- a man in love remembers random things about you. That’s how an emotionally available shows love. His ability to remember and acknowledge these details depict his affection and attention for you.

Following are some indications that an emotionally unavailable man might be experiencing love or developing an emotional attachment. These signs may be the answer to your question, “Can an emotionally unavailable man fall in love?”

6. He wants to build a future with you

When love is in the picture, he’ll start discussing future plans that involve both of you. It indicates he wants to have a long -term relationship with you and see your future together.

He will start using words like ‘we’ and ‘us’ more often than ‘I.’ He would plan future trips with you, put in subtle questions about your dream home, or blatantly ask your hand in marriage – who knows?

7. He lets you mingle with his friends and family

Emotionally distant men have a hard time letting you meet and acquaint with their family members or friends. It might feel like you are climbing the walls they have erected when you join their inner circle. He involves you in creative couple hobbies and pastime leisure activities is also a sign an emotionally unavailable is in love with you.

However, if your man introduces you to his close buds, it means he is in for something serious, like building a future together. He feels comfortable with you integrating into his life, which is quite a clear sign of him being in love with you.

8. He might pull away for some time (as it can get overwhelming)

If a person with emotional unavailability is available all the time, it would be a bit of character. Though it is appreciated if he’s working hard on himself, cut him some slack for occasional pullbacks and retreats.

Love and relationships can be overwhelming to people who are not used to them or who have suffered at their hands. It might cause them to take a step back to understand their feelings clearly.

As long as it is not a constant hot and cold affecting your relationship, you should also support your partner when he needs his personal space.

9. He goes beyond just physical and becomes more about emotional intimacy

When an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you and ready to involve himself in a lasting relationship with you, he goes beyond just physical contact and longs for emotional intimacy.

10. He shares his insecurities and vulnerabilities with you

No one, especially the one who is emotionally absent, does not share his vulnerability and insecurities generally. Ut if you have seen him at his lowest, the relationship might be the most genuine one.

Can an Emotionally Unavailable Man Miss You?

Just like every other human being, an emotionally unavailable man can miss you as well but might not show it. Just because they cannot express themselves fully does not mean they cannot feel anything. However, it is complicated for him to understand his own feelings well.

Here are a few quick signs for that:

  1. He expresses his emotions freely.
  2. He often gives you thoughtful gifts without any reason.
  3. He treasures you and checks on you often.
  4. He wants to keep you to himself and get jealous if someone approaches you.
  5. He started to make himself better by maybe exercising more, dressing better to look handsome.
  6. maintaining a good routine to work on his personality.

How to Get an Emotionally Unavailable Man to Chase You?

It is probably the most important question if you have decided to build a new relationship with such a person. It can be a little tough because emotionally unavailable people do not open up and commit that easily. But with some effort, you can compel him towards yourself.

  1. Compliment him genuinely, as it will make him feel important.
  2. Playing hard to get still works. And you can make yourself a mystery for him doing so. This is how you get an emotionally unavailable man to chase you.
  3. Doing your own thing (job, hobby, having fun) will make him realize that it can be challenging to win because you are not available every time.
  4. Take a step back and let him take the lead. It will make him feel like he is really invested in a serious relationship with you.
  5. You may have the urge to send him long texts. But refrain from doing so because it will make him overwhelm.

The Attraction to Emotionally Unavailable Men

As a woman, you sometimes wonder, what’s the point of all this? Why am I attracted to an emotionally unavailable man in the first place? But there are some strong reasons behind that. Maybe you crave a romantic connection with someone who reminds you of a loved one in the past. Or you might see yourself in them.

Another strong reason is that we are naturally drawn to the people who fit our definition of love. If you have romantic role models who are emotionally unavailable, then you will draw towards that kind of partner naturally. That’s the main psychology that works behind wanting unavailable people.


It is undoubted that emotionally unavailable men are tough to love because they cannot talk about their feelings and emotions that easily. Although he can love you and miss you for real, but would not speak up about it.

So if you are a woman in love with such a person, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly about your needs and expectations while also being patient and understanding of their emotional challenges.

Alisha Shabbir
Alisha Shabbir is a Student, Content Writer and hopefully, a Future Bestselling Author, whose sole passion is to create content that's not only Aesthetically Pleasing but also Progressively Life-Changing. Currently, she has all her resources focused on producing content that improves the quality of life. She writes on a broad range of topics which cover different aspects of life and tackle various issues When she's not working, you can find her buried in Books, lost in Music or Procrastinating on her assignments.

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