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21 Questions for a New Relationship to Determine if You’re a Good Match!

In the midst of hook-up culture and casual dating, it is extremely difficult to find a partner who is serious about you and the relationship. Gone are the days when marriages lasted for a lifetime. Nowadays, people find it incredibly easy to break up and move on. Worse still, the rise of dating apps has made people feel they have endless options, making them adopt a fickle attitude.

The result is – they refuse to commit and by the time they get serious, they are no longer desirable. That’s why it is important that people recognize a good match when they find it. Having a loving and caring partner you’re compatible with, is life-changing.

So, if you’ve found a person you think you could spend a lifetime with, don’t forget to ask these 21 questions for a new relationship!

How to Ask New Relationship Questions?

There are certain things you should keep in mind while asking these crucial questions in the early stages of a relationship. Make sure it is a good and pleasant experience for both of you and doesn’t result in an argument. The goal is to get to know each other better.

Don’t Make It an Interrogation!

First of all, it shouldn’t be an interrogation. Don’t adopt a somber attitude and make your beau sit down all grim and grave to have this conversation. It should be natural. The questions should arise naturally depending on the occasion. For example, your tall boyfriend could grab something off the top shelf at a supermarket, this leaves an opening for a sincere conversation about your height insecurity as a short girl. He might come forth with his opinions on why tall guys like short girls. The point is, if you’re having a good time with your new partner, occasions for deep conversation will come up. Take those chances to ask him important questions for a new relationship.

Turn It Into a Game

Furthermore, you could also turn it into a couple’s game on a date night. “Would you rather”, “21 Questions”, and “Truth or Dare” are all good examples of how to get to know someone better while having fun and making it imposing.

Keep Serious Questions for the Last

Some people might tell you that it’s good to cut to the chase with big questions like “do you want commitment” or “when do you think is a good time to say I Love You”? In my opinion, it is the worst way to go about it. If your partner doesn’t give you the answer you desire, it will end your relationship before it has even begun. Most people start relationships due to physical attraction. It takes time to fall in love truly after understanding each other. So, focus on light-hearted, fun questions that teach you more about each other, your likes and dislikes, and what has made you both the person you are today.

21 Important Questions to Ask in a New Relationship to Figure out if He’s the ONE!

Following are some key things you should ask your new partner to understand them better, get a sense of what they want from life, and how it aligns with your life goals and personal satisfaction.

1. What Do You Want From Life?

This is a big question that people often struggle to answer. However, knowing what one wants from life makes them more grounded and geared up for success. You will see that people who know the answer to this question are more satisfied, happy and fulfilled. More importantly, this question plays a predominant part in you figuring out if both of you are a good match or not.

2. What is Your Ideal Lifestyle?

“Opposite attracts” – is a popular statement and has some truth to it. But for how long? – is my question. Yes, people who are vastly different from each other in terms of personality and lifestyle might find each other attractive and also have a good relationship. Nevertheless, it is difficult to build a long and enduring relationship with someone who lives a completely different lifestyle from you. For example, you might prefer a tranquil life in the countryside while your partner loves the noise and hustle & bustle of the city.

3. What Would You Be Doing if Money Wasn’t a Priority?

Most people choose a career path based on money. Although it is stable yet, it might not lead to feelings of fulfillment. It’s a good idea to ask this question to reveal what your new partner likes doing and what’s important to him or her.

4. How Do You Spend Your Money?

Money habits can strain a relationship and even lead to serious conflicts. Having a discussion about finances beforehand can help you develop a healthy relationship, especially if you start living together. Consider getting a couple’s financial therapy in case your spending habits are too contrasting.

5. What Are Your Plans for the Next Five Years?

Another question to determine what your new boyfriend wants in the future. Is he considering marriage and becoming a good husband? Or does he want to focus on his career for the time being? And how does it coincide with your future plans?

6. What Do You Consider Cheating?

Cheating is a dealbreaker for most people. But different people define it differently. For some, kissing someone else is cheating while others are pretty lax about it. Get clear on relationship boundaries early on to save yourself from heartbreak.

7. What Were Your Past Relationships Like?

Asking about your new partner’s exes might seem like a recipe for trouble but it leads to better understanding. People carry out deep trauma due to their past relationships, which can seep into their new ones and destroy them.

8. What Are Your Dealbreakers?

There are certain things that are immediate red flags for people. Having knowledge of them can prevent you from unknowingly doing something that might break your partner’s interest in you.

9. What Do You Look for in an Ideal Partner?

This is to understand if both of you are really compatible with each other. If so, then to what degree? Can you fulfill his expectations of having a good wife? Or does he have unrealistic aspirations that you cannot bear?

10. What’s Your Love Language?

There are 5 love languages that can help couples understand each other better and how to treat each other right. Plus, it shows you how to express your love and care for your partner in a way they’ll most appreciate it.

11. What Do You Think About Open and Polyamorous Relationships?

Most young people nowadays don’t want to commit and lean towards open or polyamorous relationships. It works for some while others consider it an instant dealbreaker.

12. How Do You Resolve Conflicts?

Conflicts and arguments occur in every relationship. The important thing is how you deal with them. Some people like to take time apart to reevaluate things while others start fighting and screaming when a conflict arises. Discuss how’d you like to communicate when a conflict presents itself.

13. Do You Like Kids? What About Having Children of Your Own?

This is key in terms of big life milestones. If you want to have children of your own and raise them lovingly but your partner doesn’t, your relationship won’t last long. And even if it does, one of you will have to sacrifice an important wish.

14. What Are Your Kinks?

It is healthy for couples to have open sex talk. Knowing what is off-limits and what turns your partner on leads to a good sex life and improves relationship satisfaction.

15. What Do You Want From This Relationship? Are You Open to Commitment?

Do not force your new partner to commit right away. Simply, ask about what their expectations are going into this connection and do they see themselves committing sincerely if things are good.

16. What Makes You Cry? When Was the Last Time You Cried?

People don’t like to be vulnerable. However, it is one of the best ways to connect with another human being. Asking this can bring up sad memories but it will also give you an opportunity to care and bond over something precious.

17. Is Religion Important to You? What Are Your Spiritual or Religious Beliefs?

In today’s world, not a lot of people put much value on religion. If you’re like that, you find it difficult to connect with someone who values it a lot. Ultimately, it’s about how much you respect another person’s life choices and coexist peacefully with them.

18. How Do You Take Care of Yourself?

You can’t love another when you can’t love yourself. It’s the fundamental principle in any relationship. Self-care can be as simple as eating healthy, and exercising regularly or it could be as complex as not tolerating abusive and toxic behavior from others.

19. What’s a Romantic Date for You?

Although, romance seems to be dying in this age. Still, some individuals love it when their partner goes the extra mile to be romantic with them. Figure out how you could be romantic to your partner if they like it.

20. What Are Your Biggest Fears?

This question might lead you down a rabbit hole of past abuse and insecurities. But it will only serve to deepen your relationship not sabotage it. Just make sure you approach this topic with an open mind and a caring heart.

21. Do You Like Pets?

This is a light-hearted question to end the list. After all who doesn’t like having pets? The real debate is around whether your partner is a cat person or a dog person!

Key Takeaways

The crux of the matter is – there are plenty of things to ask in a new relationship. It is a time of excitement, discovery, and connection. What matters most is that you approach each topic with empathy, understanding, and an open, non-judgemental mind. Ask to understand, not to judge and discriminate.

Alisha Shabbir
Alisha Shabbir is a Student, Content Writer and hopefully, a Future Bestselling Author, whose sole passion is to create content that's not only Aesthetically Pleasing but also Progressively Life-Changing. Currently, she has all her resources focused on producing content that improves the quality of life. She writes on a broad range of topics which cover different aspects of life and tackle various issues When she's not working, you can find her buried in Books, lost in Music or Procrastinating on her assignments.

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